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I take the blame for using the word luxury in the wrong context. What I meant was: luxury of choice. I don't think Baraka_Gurl and I have the "luxury" to choose one of us to stay at home unless I can figure out a way to do so while working. I will not be "house husband" (or "house common-law partner"). I think it is much more difficult to be a stay-at-home parent today if you live in a city, where living expenses tend to be high even if you don't have today's "necessities," as it were.
And for the record, I'd love to live in a '50s-sized house, but it would set me back $300,000+ here in Toronto. To not partake in today's "luxuries" would be to not partake in much that culture has to offer. Think of being without satellite television and high-speed Internet. Much of what's going on today in terms of the "vanguard of culture" is happening through these channels. Mind you, I tend to stay away from much of this, but this is why I tend to feel like I live under a rock when I'm in a group of people chatting about the current thing.
But back to the OP, and a comment made by Strange Famous: "Genetically, men are programmed for violence, and women to nurture." It's this kind of thinking that has created the problem in the first place. Cultural theorists would call this line of thought binary oppositional. This implies that men are not inclined to nurture and that women are not inclined to be violent, both of which are false. If you think about it from a evolutionary standpoint, women aren't looking for a man's violent tendencies when selecting a mate. His ability to bond and nurture is a factor. Humans have an adolescent phase far longer than most animals, which is why this binary opposition doesn't make sense--it is at least far too oversimplified. Yes, men are often violent and can come across as emotionally reserved, but they stick around to raise children for several reasons.
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
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