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I suppose that it depends who you are with and your emotional stability.
My girl used to get angry when I referred to it as her "pussy". I think that she may have taken it that I was objectifying her as a person as an object - a sex object. In that context I understand that she was offended. I am not sure that I agree that her objection was rational but I understand that to her it was was problematic so I tried to compensate and be sensitive to her feelings.
Instead of saying things like "Lay back and let me eat your pussy" I might say something like "It's time for me to pet the kitty". To use the term vagina seem a little clinical. Cunt seems too extreme.
Having said that, this all seems to be situational. Sometimes she likes to talk dirty. It is like at certain levels of hornyness, certain things are OK and other things are taboo. At other times the taboo things are actually desired. As an example, at sometimes she wants to "have sex" or "make love". Other times she wants me to "fuck her".
I think that it comes down to love and trust and respect. And being sensitive.
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