Originally Posted by Charlatan

I think you have missed the point (perhaps I was not clear in making it).

1) I wrote that marriage *doesn't* have to be forever. I did not say that marriage is *not* forever. Many people get very hung up on waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Some are too hung up on the idea that marriage *has* to be forever.

I have seen people who have waited too long to find the *perfect* person. They've waited so long that they ended up being alone... forever.

I have also seen people *stay* married when what they really needed to do was get out of a crappy marriage.

So when I say that people shouldn't get hung up on marrying for life... I mean it from both sides of the coin. I feel that we have been weaned on tales of happily-ever-after and the whole myth of romantic love that we lose sight of the fact that marriages, like any relationship is fueled by love but also by a lot of work.

2) I have been married for 15 years and with my wife for 20 years total. We are both very (very!) different from who we were 20 years ago. Change is inevitable. We have been lucky enough to change and grow together. I know at least three other couples that were married around the same time as we were... they are all no longer married to each other.

Not bitter at all. Just pragmatic.