abaya

Yeah, it makes perfect sense. That's just you being human. It's not a sign from god that you should go pour your heart out to her, or that you belong with her, or anything. It's your subconscious self processing shit that happened in real life. That is all.

Hell, to give you some perspective, I'm very happily married and have been with my husband for going on 4 years now, and I STILL have the occasional dream about one ex or another. I wake up and realize that my brain is obviously bored at night and reaching back for some random memory stored away in the recesses... but it means absolutely nothing. I also dream often about my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago, and the feeling is the same as you describe when I wake up... it feels like she just died, all over again, and the emotions are very strong in that moment. But it doesn't mean anything. It's the brain processing shit. That is all.

You, and we, will know this is true, when it's not followed by this... Until then, just hang in there. You're really only finally over someone when you cease thinking about the whole thing in any regular fashion. It becomes an afterthought, something that occurs to you now and then, but no longer holds power over you. Until that point, I'm pretty used to hearing people go through their cycles: "YESSSS! I'm over him/her!!!" --2 days later-- "NOOOO! I'm never gonna get over it!! Ohhhh, the pain, the pain!!" --repeat-- When the cycle stops, then it's really all over.

Best of luck, man. I definitely think you're on the right path. Good on you for not running back to her with your tale of woe--that was very strong of you to resist the temptation.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran