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ItWasMe · 11-09-2007, 08:19 PM

I was going to say that I always admit my mistakes, but then I remembered this one time...it was also in my journal....

Years ago, when I was still married to my ex-husband, I used to like him. I decided to make him breakfast in bed one morning. I padded into the kitchen quietly while he was sleeping and got a pot of coffee started. I grabbed two eggs out of the carton and put them on the counter. Heaved the iron pan onto the stove and turned it on. Oiled pan. Reached for the eggs. They weren't there. I looked up and down that counter for them. Nothing. I double checked the carton, and there were two missing (there had been a full dozen). So I hadn't dreamt taking them out. I checked the floor to see if they'd rolled off the counter. Nope. There was nothing on the floor...except...his army boots. Sitting upright. Below the edge of the counter, where the eggs had been.

I leaned over the boots and peered into the first one. Everything looked ok. I looked in the second one. Yep, there they were. Broken. I picked up the boot and dumped the contents into the garbage. After wiping the inside of the boot with a paper towel, it still felt kind of sticky.

I glanced at the kitchen doorway to make sure I wasn't being watched. Filling the boot with nice, hot soapy water in the kitchen sink, I scrubbed it with an SOS pad thoroughly. Twice. I couldn't seem to get it dry enough, though. It still felt a bit slimy and, well, WET on the inside. Maybe he wouldn't notice.

After finishing his breakfast that I eventually cooked, my ex husband sat down to put on his boots. He had to head out the door to work. At the army. Soon. He put on one boot. Didn't wince or anything. Laced it up. So far so good. It was when he put the second boot on that we ran into a bit of a 'snag.' He closed his eyes and stood up. The boot made an interesting noise when he took a step.

"Any idea why my boot is wet?" he asked me.

I had a 'kitkat' moment and shoved the rest of my toast into my mouth. I shrugged my shoulders. "Must have been the cat," I said. And I headed towards the shower.

11-09-2007, 08:19 PM	#17 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	I was going to say that I always admit my mistakes, but then I remembered this one time...it was also in my journal.... Years ago, when I was still married to my ex-husband, I used to like him. I decided to make him breakfast in bed one morning. I padded into the kitchen quietly while he was sleeping and got a pot of coffee started. I grabbed two eggs out of the carton and put them on the counter. Heaved the iron pan onto the stove and turned it on. Oiled pan. Reached for the eggs. They weren't there. I looked up and down that counter for them. Nothing. I double checked the carton, and there were two missing (there had been a full dozen). So I hadn't dreamt taking them out. I checked the floor to see if they'd rolled off the counter. Nope. There was nothing on the floor...except...his army boots. Sitting upright. Below the edge of the counter, where the eggs had been. I leaned over the boots and peered into the first one. Everything looked ok. I looked in the second one. Yep, there they were. Broken. I picked up the boot and dumped the contents into the garbage. After wiping the inside of the boot with a paper towel, it still felt kind of sticky. I glanced at the kitchen doorway to make sure I wasn't being watched. Filling the boot with nice, hot soapy water in the kitchen sink, I scrubbed it with an SOS pad thoroughly. Twice. I couldn't seem to get it dry enough, though. It still felt a bit slimy and, well, WET on the inside. Maybe he wouldn't notice. After finishing his breakfast that I eventually cooked, my ex husband sat down to put on his boots. He had to head out the door to work. At the army. Soon. He put on one boot. Didn't wince or anything. Laced it up. So far so good. It was when he put the second boot on that we ran into a bit of a 'snag.' He closed his eyes and stood up. The boot made an interesting noise when he took a step. "Any idea why my boot is wet?" he asked me. I had a 'kitkat' moment and shoved the rest of my toast into my mouth. I shrugged my shoulders. "Must have been the cat," I said. And I headed towards the shower. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe