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Originally Posted by nonplussed
How would you know how many others your lover has had unless you asked? And why would you?
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I personally consider 'disclosing sexual history' to be a natural and necessary step in the development of a relationship. I don't expect an itemized list or anything like that, but getting a rough idea of where she's been and when falls firmly into the 'getting to know you' process.
EDIT - for cross-post with willravel. I don't think it's an issue of self-esteem as such. More one of self-protection. If she has a history of wild unprotected sex with outlaw bikers, I would want to know that. Conversely, if she's only been with one other guy I want to know that too; in that case, I'll know that I should probably be a bit more gentle than I might be with a more experienced girl.
Either way, it seems like prudent information to have.