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Shauk · 11-01-2007, 06:00 PM

well I've been looking for a place to move out actually.

I realize that I can't stay here.

I can't very well bring home a girl who DOES give a shit about me and bring her to my bed, or rather, my ex girlfriends bed, lol. How odd.

like I said, the thing that hurt the most, the thing that told me EVERYTHING I needed to know, was seeing the text she sent her ex saying that she'd choose him over me that monday... the day after I had moved in with her. She was trying to get him to let her come over so they could fuck and then she had to say that when he was confused why she was doing that when I was here.

look, the reason this is hard for me is there is 5 years where she was able to prove that she was able to be the woman I wanted, OBVIOUSLY this is the wrong perspective, I KNOW this. But you can't explain emotion :\

I know we can't get together on these terms. Reading that hurt me more than anything, more than her sleeping with 3 other guys, I could get over that, it's just sex. But the fact that she'd choose this guy who she complained about forever, the fact that she'd even SAY that, destroyed any hope I had.

I expect nothing from her now, I've stopped talking to her as much as possible , and have been looking to move out. I get paid on the 5th, I expect to be out by then.

I can already see what is going to happen though. She will try her best to break me down, to pursue me, to "prove" herself to me, and to "win" by trying to fuck me or whatever she has to do in her mind. I guess as long as I deny her, i'll have the power. I just hope I find a girlfriend fairly quick to help with keeping my mind off this shit though.

I don't even want to talk to her as a friend unless she deletes his number from her phone, and the 1200 texts I had to go through to piece this drama together.

It wont happen though.

This is depressing. good job or not, i'm alone out here.

11-01-2007, 06:00 PM	#69 (permalink)
Shauk Confused Adult Location: Spokane, WA	well I've been looking for a place to move out actually. I realize that I can't stay here. I can't very well bring home a girl who DOES give a shit about me and bring her to my bed, or rather, my ex girlfriends bed, lol. How odd. like I said, the thing that hurt the most, the thing that told me EVERYTHING I needed to know, was seeing the text she sent her ex saying that she'd choose him over me that monday... the day after I had moved in with her. She was trying to get him to let her come over so they could fuck and then she had to say that when he was confused why she was doing that when I was here. look, the reason this is hard for me is there is 5 years where she was able to prove that she was able to be the woman I wanted, OBVIOUSLY this is the wrong perspective, I KNOW this. But you can't explain emotion :\ I know we can't get together on these terms. Reading that hurt me more than anything, more than her sleeping with 3 other guys, I could get over that, it's just sex. But the fact that she'd choose this guy who she complained about forever, the fact that she'd even SAY that, destroyed any hope I had. I expect nothing from her now, I've stopped talking to her as much as possible , and have been looking to move out. I get paid on the 5th, I expect to be out by then. I can already see what is going to happen though. She will try her best to break me down, to pursue me, to "prove" herself to me, and to "win" by trying to fuck me or whatever she has to do in her mind. I guess as long as I deny her, i'll have the power. I just hope I find a girlfriend fairly quick to help with keeping my mind off this shit though. I don't even want to talk to her as a friend unless she deletes his number from her phone, and the 1200 texts I had to go through to piece this drama together. It wont happen though. This is depressing. good job or not, i'm alone out here.