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Originally Posted by Infinite_Loser
A little objectivism (I don't think that's a word, but meh... Whatever) never hurt anyone.
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Objectivity about what? No one's saying Shauk's an angel here, let alone a victim. There's proof of that all over his journal entries about the situation, and on each and every one of the threads he started here on TFP. He certainly knows my opinion, and it's not always very kind, either.
However, there is no benefit to be gained from saying that he should "try harder" to be in a relationship with this girl. Even if he exaggerates some things in his narrative, she's got (as they say) more issues than National Geographic. Any sane man--or any man wanting to regain his sanity, after being with her--will run the hell away from anyone as toxic as this girl seems to be.
She's got to fix herself, period. She might never fix herself. But that has nothing to do with Shauk, and it shouldn't, period. This is one of life's most important lessons about relationships, in my (and many, many other people's) opinion.
The only thing I agreed with you about was that if Shauk didn't care so much about his ex, then he wouldn't post about her so much. Yeah, obviously he still cares, that's his problem... and we're trying to help him with that, at least as long as he's asking for help. In a situation like this, the hardest (and best) thing to do is kill any ounce of caring you have for someone like this, before they take you down with them into their own emotional shithole. I can't count how many times I've seen it happen, though usually it's a co-dependent girl who's hanging on to the toxic guy and won't let go until she's totally destroyed. Equal opportunity, I guess.