Zooksport2

A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later.

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled. Bruce came running in.

"Bruce, I've gone an' bloody suctioned m'self to the floor" she said.
"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up.

"You're stuck like bloody superglue, woman. I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate). They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

"No way. We can't do it, have ta go with Plan B," Cobba said.

"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What's that"?

"I'll go get my hammer and chisel outta the ute and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba

"Spot on, you're a legend," Bruce said

"While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits."

"Play with her tits"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"

"No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive".

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