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Gather 'round everyone, let papa Hal tell you a story of great import!
Y'see, I was walkin' along with my buddies after lunch, heading back to the workplace. My co-worker Jordan is half-black and is never slow to quip a blatantly racist, sexist or generally stupid remark, but today he was on relatively good behavior. In conversation, the subject of fried chicken came about and it sparked my memory of a website I had been browsing.
"That reminds me of this website I was browsing. The domain was 'negrophonic,'" I started.
"Negrophonic, eh? Wish I had thought of that," replied Jordan.
"Well, the background of this website has a bunch of flying watermelons. Watermelon after watermelon."
Jordan chuckled and instantly suggested, "you know what would be better? If went watermelon - chicken - watermelon - chicken."
This of course made me laugh, but no good joke goes unappreciated. Immediately from behind us erupted the angered yelling of a black man in dirty salmon-colored sweat pants and a ragged pair of Uggs.
"Watermelon chicken? Watermelon chicken? Mothafucka, do you know I'll fuck you up?!?"
His following words were not totally clear because I was laughing uncontrollably at this point. My buddies and I were already crossing the street and I was doubling over with hysterical laughter. The man stayed on his side of the street but he yelled after us.
"Watermelon chicken! Mothafucka, you better not come back here. I aint afraid of prison!"
What made it a little more humorous was the fact that he was standing in front of the Manhattan detention complex. So as I was stumbling down the sidewalk, keeled over with glee, that sad example of humanity was strutting perpendicular to us on his side of the street, still yelling.
"Watermelon chicken."
It was funny. Really.
So, the moral of the story is... pride his HILARIOUS.
(As an aside, I'm going to be real blunt here. Of all the people who are loud, obnoxious, thuggish, threatening and generally unpleasant, black people make up 90%. There are some slimy and shitty white, hispanic, indian and asian people, but whenever I'm made to feel uncomfortable because of the outward behavior of another human, 9 times out of 10 that human is black. That's not racist, that's pure happenstance.)
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