It'll suck. It'll suck for a long time. It'll suck even when it's not your first relationship.
Channeling energy into something good, like school and exercise is good.
I'd suggest doing something new. That can be anything from getting a haircut, to getting some new clothes, to joining in some kind of activity at school.
And if the only reason you are talking to her is to see "how she is" and "how she acts towards you" ... stop it. That will only make it worse.
I dealt with my divorce by starting smoking again, getting angry, working overtime and eventually by falling in love with a much (MUCH) better guy.