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ChefDylan · 10-13-2007, 05:58 PM

I beleive we are all a conglomeration of the choices and paths we either chose or were lead down during our lives. even our bad decisions helped us learn and grow to be who we are now.

when i was young my mother was a single parent and providing for us took up a great deal of her time. I had my sister, who was a year older, and my brother, who is 8 years younger, to provide me with entertainment and drama. I was a loner even then and tended to stick to books. I read a great deal of Arthurian legend and world mythology from American Indian to Celtic to Chinese and Japanese. I took that time in my life to make several rules for my behavior and most of them I have adhered to throughout the years no matter how much it hurt. I have only one regret, sara. I wish I had been able to handle being happy then.

I keep going because I hope one day to fulfill my promise to myself to be a better man than my father is. He abandoned us when I was a kid and I want my children, if I ever have any, to know their father loves them very much.

I keep going because I feel that the only one I ever have to prove anything to is myself. I make a few friends and a lot of enemies doing this and even though I try to see things thru other peoples eyes I prefer for them to explain to me what they are thinking rather than attribute intelligence by assumption.

I have thought several times in my life that I was ready to die. I have a few conditions I like to have before I go. I want to owe noone...no bills at all. I want to go on my own terms, basically.

when things get difficult for me to handle I tend to recede into my own world inside my head. I have shaped a world with characters from books I have read and places I still wish to see. I am comfortable there and feel relaxed. I like to think it helps me look at the world with new eyes when I return.

10-13-2007, 05:58 PM	#35 (permalink)
ChefDylan Upright Location: Salem, AR	powered by my inner world. I beleive we are all a conglomeration of the choices and paths we either chose or were lead down during our lives. even our bad decisions helped us learn and grow to be who we are now. when i was young my mother was a single parent and providing for us took up a great deal of her time. I had my sister, who was a year older, and my brother, who is 8 years younger, to provide me with entertainment and drama. I was a loner even then and tended to stick to books. I read a great deal of Arthurian legend and world mythology from American Indian to Celtic to Chinese and Japanese. I took that time in my life to make several rules for my behavior and most of them I have adhered to throughout the years no matter how much it hurt. I have only one regret, sara. I wish I had been able to handle being happy then. I keep going because I hope one day to fulfill my promise to myself to be a better man than my father is. He abandoned us when I was a kid and I want my children, if I ever have any, to know their father loves them very much. I keep going because I feel that the only one I ever have to prove anything to is myself. I make a few friends and a lot of enemies doing this and even though I try to see things thru other peoples eyes I prefer for them to explain to me what they are thinking rather than attribute intelligence by assumption. I have thought several times in my life that I was ready to die. I have a few conditions I like to have before I go. I want to owe noone...no bills at all. I want to go on my own terms, basically. when things get difficult for me to handle I tend to recede into my own world inside my head. I have shaped a world with characters from books I have read and places I still wish to see. I am comfortable there and feel relaxed. I like to think it helps me look at the world with new eyes when I return. __________________ Duct Tape is like The Force...... There is a Dark Side, a Light Side and it holds the Universe together!