Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - why is NOT cheating looked so poorly upon?

frozenstellar · 10-10-2007, 04:05 AM

i have a question, an odd question that I throw to the wise folk of TFP. I have a feeling what the answer will be, but fail to understand why.

Within the last 2 weeks, I have been put in this situation 3 times, and its far from pleasant, and one of which was particularly difficult.

Each time I have been placed in a position to cheat with another person.

I would not be cheating on anyone as such (I'm single, and have been for over 6months), but the other person has been in a relationship, of varying degrees of seriousness.

I say 'as such' because at the end of the day, I feel that if I were to follow through, I would see myself as cheating on someone - their partner.

Now, given all 3 times this has happened, I have been on the drink (not blackout drunk, but socially relaxed thats for sure), and especially the last time, has been incredibly difficult to resist... yet each time, I have resisted the urge to reciprocate any advances made towards me, because in my mind, its not the done thing.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to say no to a naked female, ready for it when you've given the turps a fair kicking, and its been quite some time since your 'last'?

I made it known to the last girl that I have very strong feelings for her - we are very good friends and really 'connect' and have for quite some time - but as much as I would like to be with her, I will not act on them as no matter how much I would enjoy it, I just cannot morally bring myself to do it because there is another guy on the scene.

I have an incling that she too is interested, but feels that her current situation is the safest option, even though she is not completely happy. Now, if she were to leave him for me (which is not all that unlikely), as long as she had broken ties with him, I'd be fine with it. I don't consider that to be wrong (i daresay that the other guy will, but I have not done anything wrong. If she was happy with you, she would have stayed)

So why not cheat? 2 reasons for me personally
1. It was the only piece of advice in relation to females my old man ever gave me. If she's taken, she's out of bounds. Anything else with regard to females, you can work out for yourself (his words) - its part of life. But if she's taken - back off.

2. It is a horrible feeling to have been cheated on, and even though I may not know their partner, no-one deserves to have that put upon them.

Now, I have spoken to a few people about this (male and female), and an alarming number of them (both male & female again) said 'why didnt you.. it was there ready for you? Your Crazy!'

So why is it, when presented with an opportunity such as this, considered to be acceptable to be 'that guy' if you're not the one being cheated on, but if it were you the one being cheated on, you'd want nothing less than their balls in a vice if it happened to you?

10-10-2007, 04:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
frozenstellar Without Wings Location: Australia	why is NOT cheating looked so poorly upon? i have a question, an odd question that I throw to the wise folk of TFP. I have a feeling what the answer will be, but fail to understand why. Within the last 2 weeks, I have been put in this situation 3 times, and its far from pleasant, and one of which was particularly difficult. Each time I have been placed in a position to cheat with another person. I would not be cheating on anyone as such (I'm single, and have been for over 6months), but the other person has been in a relationship, of varying degrees of seriousness. I say 'as such' because at the end of the day, I feel that if I were to follow through, I would see myself as cheating on someone - their partner. Now, given all 3 times this has happened, I have been on the drink (not blackout drunk, but socially relaxed thats for sure), and especially the last time, has been incredibly difficult to resist... yet each time, I have resisted the urge to reciprocate any advances made towards me, because in my mind, its not the done thing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to say no to a naked female, ready for it when you've given the turps a fair kicking, and its been quite some time since your 'last'? I made it known to the last girl that I have very strong feelings for her - we are very good friends and really 'connect' and have for quite some time - but as much as I would like to be with her, I will not act on them as no matter how much I would enjoy it, I just cannot morally bring myself to do it because there is another guy on the scene. I have an incling that she too is interested, but feels that her current situation is the safest option, even though she is not completely happy. Now, if she were to leave him for me (which is not all that unlikely), as long as she had broken ties with him, I'd be fine with it. I don't consider that to be wrong (i daresay that the other guy will, but I have not done anything wrong. If she was happy with you, she would have stayed) So why not cheat? 2 reasons for me personally 1. It was the only piece of advice in relation to females my old man ever gave me. If she's taken, she's out of bounds. Anything else with regard to females, you can work out for yourself (his words) - its part of life. But if she's taken - back off. 2. It is a horrible feeling to have been cheated on, and even though I may not know their partner, no-one deserves to have that put upon them. Now, I have spoken to a few people about this (male and female), and an alarming number of them (both male & female again) said 'why didnt you.. it was there ready for you? Your Crazy!' So why is it, when presented with an opportunity such as this, considered to be acceptable to be 'that guy' if you're not the one being cheated on, but if it were you the one being cheated on, you'd want nothing less than their balls in a vice if it happened to you?