Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ustwo
Just because you are gay doesn't mean its ok to be a pussy.
Getting picked on sucks, and yes gay guys will get picked on more, so will short guys, weaker guys, guys who talk funny, guys with bad zits, guys who start puberty later, guys who are fat, guys who like opera, guys who are goth, etc.
Its the dominance games we males play to find our spots in the pecking order and its very prevalent in the teens and 20s. Being different sets you up as a target, and if you act like a pussy about it, you will attract more 'attacks' as you are seen as weak and other weak males will attempt to prove they are dominant.
|
I do actually agree with these comments, especially regarding the pecking order. Male social dynamics can be painfully simple at times.
The thing is, I don't feel that being gay / bi / straight, should define you. I was recently asked by a friend what would happen if I suddenly found myself in a relationship with a man. To be honest, I wouldn't change a damn thing about me. I'm not going to start going to gay clubs because I hate clubs in general, and I'm not going to start going to gay bars, because gay culture really isn't my thing.
And you're right, people shouldn't use their sexuality / race / religion / spots on their face for being a Captain Pussy Pants. But nor should people use a persons sexuality / race / religion / spots on their face as an excuse to harass them no end.
The interesting thing is, from what I've noticed, especially at the school I went to, if you're confident in who you are then you can easily stand up to peoples shit. There were a couple of overt gays at the school, and no one ever gave them crap about it because they were very confident in and of themselves, that instantly gains a lot of respect. I mean, teasing them for being gay wasn't going to wash off because the general conversation would go
"Eeeeeer you fag!"
"Yes, I'm gay, nice observation, got any other pearls of wisdom?"
"Je.. ah... fuck you...."
I feel I've actually articulated my ideas very poorly in this thread. But then again, it is a slightly complex issue. I feel that reasons overt macho culture can be so destructive is because it's not very accepting of guys who are a bit different.
The problem I see is that overt macho culture can be so deeply homophobic, so much so, as someone pointed out, that both straight and gay men are horrified of gaining the label. This is the problem, this is where it stops being about sexuality, and starts to be a witch hunt that stifles a young mans ability to express and communicate what's really on their mind. Encouraging anyone to bottle shit up is dangerous, and if something is really bothering someone, and they perceive that talking about it is going to earn them the "faggot" label, that stress can push them a little too far.
Bear in mind, the group I'm talking about are young men 16-23, with impressionable minds, and going through what is a confusing time for even the best of us.
Being able to stand up for yourself and who you are is important. Being able to be confident and return peoples bullshit with 9.5% interest will make your life easier. But alot of young men simply aren't like that. It takes a hell of a lot to learn that kind of confidence and head strong mind.
It just pains me that so many young men will take their own lives because they don't know how to fit in, or can't reconcile the fact that they are different.