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Originally Posted by Average_Joe
However, I'm not convinced if the level of trust is any different between a monogamous relationship and a non-manogamous relationship. In each, you still want to be loved by the person you love back. In both cases you trust that the one you love won't deny you love and run off with someone else.
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True my wife has always trusted me and I've always trusted her. We had a long distance relationship for a while and I never once had even the slightest worry about her cheating on me despite it being obvious that several men were attempting to have her do just that. It was a source of amusement to me as I kept telling her one of them was trying just that and she was in oblivious land until he finally asked her out (he couldn't before as he was a TA in one of her classes, he had to wait until she was out of his class).
So perhaps trust isn't really the issue, its part of it, but its a different kind of trust. Its not 'I trust you to be loyal' its 'I trust you to have fun and still love me', which is part of your second example.
Now a word of caution here. I'm not advocating an open marriage. Some jealousy and fear for your partners safety is normal. Shared experiences bring you together, while if you do it on your own, it drives you apart. Thats just part of nature and friendship. A threesome is still 'us', doing the cougar at the hotel on a business trip is just 'me'.
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Well, I'll have to think about this a bit more, but I think you can have a sexual jealousy-free relationship without testing it. It's simply called faith.
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You can explicitly trust your partner, I always have, but still have jealousy issues. I don't think you can really KNOW about that aspect until you do something like a 3some or whatever where you really stand there. Also I think a big benefit is it helps to overcome the natural wanderlust we all have. We haven't evolved for only one partner until death do us part. I could get into this more, and I'm not saying marriage isn't natural, but 100% monogamy is not natural as far as I've been able to research.