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Old 10-04-2007, 11:54 AM   #51 (permalink)
Average_Joe
Psycho
 
Location: Under the Radar
Ustwo,

Thanks for your reply. You have clarified your statement in a way that I understand its intent (at least I think I do). I agree that with most traditional relationships that love, sex, and jealousy go hand-in-hand. Many relationships end due to cheating, and even perceived cheating, which invokes jealousy and mistrust. Wouldn't it be much easier if couples could just separate love from sex with an understanding that no matter who I have sex with, or want to have sex with, that my love for you is still true?

However, I'm not convinced if the level of trust is any different between a monogamous relationship and a non-manogamous relationship. In each, you still want to be loved by the person you love back. In both cases you trust that the one you love won't deny you love and run off with someone else.

As an example, if I go away on a business trip, and I'm in a non-monogamous relationship, I might have an agreement with my wife that I would be allowed to have sex with whoever I want, with some rules, as long as I promise to come back to her. In a monogamous relationship, I am expected to take care of business without extra-marital sex, and a promise to come back to her. Either way, I'm expected to come back as a loving spouse. She has to trust that I don't find something else I want out there more than her. That's the same level of trust as far as I can see. The difference in each case, as you pointed out, is the jealousy.

Therefore, I think the level of trust is no different, but the level of pain due to jealousy is different.

Quote:
Maybe its possible, and it doesn't mean you have a bad relationship but being able to put the sexual baggage behind you and not basing the strength of your relationship with imposed fidelity is really a great feeling. You can't know that until you test it.
Well, I'll have to think about this a bit more, but I think you can have a sexual jealousy-free relationship without testing it. It's simply called faith.
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