1. Every state would be required to have a NASCAR track and kids would go as a required field trip in the 6th grade.
2. Marriage licenses would expire after 5 years. The first application for one would cost $5,000; every 5 years, renewal is required.
3. Would-be parents would have to take a full semester of "Parenting101" or be implanted with birth control-this after applying for a parent's license.
4. Chocolate would be on the food pyramid.
5. Infidelity would be encouraged.
Declaring 'loyalty' to someone would be cause for a severe teasing and ostracizing. sorta like being a smoker is now.
5. Celebrityism would be illegal. Anyone caught printing blurbs about the likes of Britney or Paris would face stiff fines and jail time.
6. Weed would be legal and available in convenience stores and bars.
7. Neckties would be illegal.
Teachers unions would be a thing of the past because they'd be earning more than sports dudes. The NEA would be an 'illegal' cult.
8. The Russians would be forced to open their diamond vaults, making the gems about the same price as turquoise and there'd be no more slave labor financed by the likes of DeBeers due to the new worthlessness of them.
9. ALL cars and trucks would be equipped with breathalyzer(sp) starters.