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Either way, you're gonna feel bad.
But, being majorly overweight IS bad for the health, heart disease among others.
As others have said, persuading her to slowly change her lifestyle, to become more healthy, might help. Then again, perhaps she is one of these people that actually CANNOT lose and keep weight off.
Then, if you don't tell her this, then you're basically keeping your true thoughts to yourself, and that could hurt the marrage/relationship in the long run.
<3
Gl with it all.
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