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Originally Posted by ngdawg
Ya know, I really hate to do this, but....
I gotta toss in the age card.
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Since you tossed it out there, I have to respond - Perhaps it is because of your age that you're more likely to defend the societal values you were raised with and are less willing to see things from another perspective. My parents and their generation, who are about the same age as you, are, generally speaking, more sexist than my generation. Yet my parents, and your generation, are less sexist than your parents generation. As we understand more about the world around us, thoughts and ideas change, there is a natural evolution in thought. Simply being older doesn't necessarily make you "more right."
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We are, in many ways, different-masculine to feminine as Ono put it.
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I think you misunderstand my usage of those terms. I mean them as personality traits, not physiological facts such as male/female. A man can be very feminine and a woman can be very masculine.
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Men will never EVER experience monthly cramps and hormonal fluctuations. They won't even get them if their transexual. Men have a higher concentration of testosterone than women-that's a fact. And testosterone helps the libido, or lack thereof. Hormones affect behavior. Physiologically, the female brain is different in size, weight and distribution of function than the male brain.
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Of course there are physiological differences between men and women, no one, myself included, is arguing that on a genetic level both sexes are 100% identical. And yes, Testosterone and hormones affect behavior, but both men and women have them to varying degrees. Also, using either as an excuse for bad behavior is just, well, an excuse.
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Your 'experience' is defined as, well...your experience, which is Ono, school, mom and friends.
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I'm not sure where you got the idea that I'm the only girlfriend that Secret has had, but, that's just not true. Also, you don't have to be someone's "lover" to make observations about their behavior.
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My point? We are very different in many ways, not just culturally based. There are commonalities, yes, but if everything was common, you'd be dating a guy. But you're not and you're not because of the differences between you and yours, despite what you have 'in common'(including answering similarly, which you did because of the attractions that got you where you are now, not because everyone is not different).
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Again, no one is claiming that men and women are
identical. And sexual attraction is an entirely different discussion. I'm not sure how that's even relevant here.
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Communication is great and very important, but it's not the be-all, end-all. As I said before, 'acceptance' matters and that includes the possible acceptance that there will always be inherent differences that no amount of open dialogue is going to change. Sometimes, things just are
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Obviously in every relationship there are things about the other person that just "are" and you have to decide if you can accept them or not. But just assuming something is the way it is "because he's a guy" and letting it go isn't accepting that person at all. It's tolerating them at best.
I think the reason that so many women in this thread, and in general, are determined to hold to the thought that they are intrinsically different than men is because they like the feeling of superiority it gives them; they want to believe that just being a women somehow makes them more special. Society makes them believe they are above men and they don't want to let that go.