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(Note: all "you's" are meant in the general sense, though I do make a few specific references to language used in this thread)
I have to say, I find all these lists to be rather tangential to the actual issue of relationships. As MSD said, "in reality, most of it doesn't matter."
It's really quite simple when it comes down to it. First, people need to stop propagating this attitude that women are somehow "mysterious" or "special" or any other ridiculous adjective that puts women on a pedestal. Women, like men, are human beings. All human beings are complex creatures with things they like, things they dislike, and inherent contradictions. So long as there exists this attitude that men need to put in extra work to "understand women" - that women are, somehow, more complex when compared to the brutish and simple man - progress will not be made, on the individual or cultural scale. Women are not any more special or mysterious than men, and men are not any more brutish or simple than women. Putting women, as a whole, on a pedestal while castigating oneself as a "poor man," "lowly dreamer," or servant is, at best, unproductive. In reality, I think it's just plain destructive behavior if the goal is an honest relationship of equals.
That goal is ultimately what a lot of these lists boil down to by the way, despite mostly focusing on symptoms rather than causes. The specifics really aren't important. No sane person in an otherwise healthy relationship is actually going to care whether the toilet seat is left up or down. Whether cleaning duties are shared is only a symptom of greater issues and, as such, the specific point is irrelevant to creating more durable relationships. The same goes for most everything else in here. What is relevant is that all parties respect and communicate honestly with one another, that they are both willing to learn and grow from one another, and that they are not concerned with "keeping score" in their relationship. Everything else is simply a symptom of whether or not these things are true.
If you want women to be mysterious, keep telling yourself that they are. If you want a productive relationship, on the other hand, it's helpful to replace this binary view of the mysterious woman and the poor, confused, lowly man with a more equal worldview that is fully respectful to both sexes.
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Le temps détruit tout
"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling
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