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I understand your idealism... but to be realistic, if she wont make changes for you - then it's not going to work long term in my view. As I understand it, you're not asking for her to be a fashion model, only to take care of herself and to be presentable.
(But I don't know her actual weight).
Can you try easing into this. In my view it's not (short term) about weight loss. If you can do walks together though and make small diet changes, that's all you need to get started.
20 pounds in 2wks is crazy and probably not sustainable. A realistic expectation might be a couple of pounds per month. I'd be thinking that the main goal is to get used to doing some physical activity and to get comfortable with that. Weight loss is just the eventual side effect.
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