Sultana

It's hard, but it's very important to be honest with yourself and your desires for your life. Regardless if others think it's shallow or not--they don't get to live your life. If you are a bastard, you'll break her heart temporarily, she'll run off, and maybe find someone who's OK with the way she is. Wouldn't that be better for her in the long run, rather than being bound to someone who always has a feeling of dissatisfaction about her?

I would highly suggest postponing the wedding until this issue is resolved, one way or another.

And there are few things more annoying in this world than someone who complains constantly about something they control and yet refuses to do so.

By the way, I was able to get myself to the shape I am happy with by first learning about nutrition via Weight Watchers, and then hiring a personal trainer for 10 sessions (no, not cheap! Worthwhile things often require a sacrifice) and spending about 1.5 - 2 hours a day in the gym, 5 days a week, for several months. During the maintenance phase, it's much less time a week now. It was a hell of a lot of effort, but I wouldn't change a thing.

Ironically, after this my husband's already significant feelings of insecurity shot through the roof (he also was about as out of shape as I was, but refused to do anything long-term about it), and ultimately he ended up leaving me (lots of other stuff going on too, but you get the point). However, I am optimistic that things will turn out better for me in the long run.

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.