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Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
It is? How is cultural structure based on lies and deception? Sending thank you notes and putting a napkin on your lap is deceiving someone that you are actually a neanderthal that doesn't wipe their mouths unless it's on their tattered sleeve?
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I was only referring to the interpersonal etiquette of withholding opinions of things to spare feelings... not all etiquette of all kinds. I'm not sure why you'd think I meant
all etiquette... but that's my fault for not being more clear.
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Originally Posted by willravel
...I kept thinking to myself that unfiltered, I'm not dissimilar to Analog or Ustwo, only with a hard liberal twist.
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I'm a conservative? lol
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Originally Posted by willravel
I wonder if we would all end up fitting into that archetype if we turned off our filters, and I also wonder if, even though both of them take a lot of shit for being so harsh, maybe they're on to something. Now it occurs to me that if I were to adopt a comparative style to analog, I'd probably be banned (which raises other questions).
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No, you wouldn't be banned... because if the way I posted was ban-worthy, it wouldn't matter if I was a member of staff or not.
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Originally Posted by willravel
Analog, what do you think about your own personal philosophy when it comes to harsh truths verses being polite and respectful? I mean I'm not a moderator, and I'm not trying to pass judgment, but I'm sure you must be aware that there is the occasional line walking by many members, even on occasion me. Is it bad because it's close to breaking the rules, or is it good because you're being honest?
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I'm not a moderator either- haven't been for almost a month now.
But I can tell you that when I was, my "style" was not always preferred. Lots of people walk the line... the difference is
not whether or not you believe you're always on the "right" side of the line, but how
others perceive where you are in relation to that line. That's the way it must be, though... we need others to show us where the line really is, because... be it ego, or being "too close"... we can't always see what we're doing by ourselves.
I don't think of my posting as disrespectful- just because a person doesn't want to hear the truth, doesn't automatically make it disrespectful. Also, "respect" is not always a black and white issue. Take a person who makes many threads to complain about something terrible, and takes no one's advice, ever, and continues to wonder why they're in a bad situation. At some point, someone has to step in and give some tough love- brutal honesty that's most likely not respectful, but definitely much-needed. It might be disrespectful out of context, but there
always comes a time when pleasantries need to be tossed to the wind.
Many people see a "grace period" between when the person starts complaining and when it's finally ok to tell someone to knock it the hell off, quit doing what they're doing, and move on- in very definitive, not-so-rosey terms. I, however, go for "tough love" (brutal honesty) as soon as I feel that person is not getting the message. If I swoop in to give someone my REAL $0.02, and others haven't yet given up making the point in a nicer way, then it's perceived as harsh.
I am not harsh on purpose. I just tell "the truth"- as I see it- and that's it. When people don't want to hear the truth, it's perceived as harsh. I accept that it's possible to be seen as harsh, but I know that i'm doing right for myself by remaining truthful. I've had some people tell me that I don't have a monopoly on "the truth", but here's the thing: everyone owns the truth. For every person, the truth is theirs. Just like with opinions, everyone has their version of reality. If you don't agree with my take on something, I welcome a conversation about it- but "the truth" will always be true to me, as your version of "the truth" will always be true to you.