it never ceases to amaze me how people can just not feel bad for doing incredibly shitty things to others.
anyway, to address the op...you shouldn't have to force your partner into being sexual. humans are sexual creatures, and if they honestly never want to bang, there's something wrong. maybe the two of you aren't sexually compatible, maybe they feel emotionally unfulfilled, maybe they're stressed...there are many factors that influence libido. but living without sex when it's offered to you by you SO? that's just not right.
i guess the motivations behind the saying no are what determines whether or not it's selfish. for instance, if you can't please your lover, and that's why they're saying no...then that's not really selfish. but if they're just saying no all the time because they don't take into account your needs...then yeah, that's selfish.
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"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes to make it possible." - T.E. Lawrence
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