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As someone who has been a #2 in a poly, the major growth happens in that you learn what Love CAN mean - People in your life can fulfill you in different ways - Imagine that the little things that one person has as weaknesses, you find someone else who can complement those as their strengths, and all the way around .. 3 is now stronger than one, or even 2.
And yet another thought ... while it may not always be the case .. Polyamory can also happen in the absence of sex as a primary or even seconary part of the relationship, whether temporary or not - I've been there. It is this possibility that to me makes polyamory worlds apart from swinging. The relationship(s) comes first.
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
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