Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Girlfriend told me she's going into the Navy for 2 yrs. Heartbroken. Have questions.

ItWasMe · 09-17-2007, 12:01 PM

I checked your join date before I replied. You should be at least 21 by now. My answer might have been different if you were also 17. Like, go live your life, although that is still good advice. But your questions were more along the lines of 'what should I expect' so that is how I answered.

Reading your post, I don't just see her sneaking off. It looks like she told you about it before she signed. She knew you wouldn't like it, but she is a 17 year old who has been dating someone (long distance) for less than a year. I don't think this as a bad thing for her to make decisions about her life, unless she is being pushed into it by someone.

I see 'already long distance relationship' + 'plan to marry 2 years after she graduates'... and I see her filling those two years of her life with something constructive and/or meaningful. Striking out on her own, taking care of herself, seeing the world while she can, whatever her reasons are. It is good for a young person to take charge of her life. She has plenty of time to settle down, and so do you.
You asked if she will come back after two years. Some people find that they like that way of life, some love it, some hate it. I have known people who:

*Did not like the military, and got out at the end of their term.
*Liked the military experience, but were ready to leave and not reenlist.
*Loved their freedom, adventures, being responsible for themselves, and reenlisted.
*Loved the experience, but came home because they felt pressured to. Then suddenly reenlisted and flew the coup.
*Loved the experience, but came home because they felt pressured to, and felt resentful about it for a long time.
*Decided to be a 'lifer'. (If she decides this, are you prepared to marry her and follow her military career?)

Either way, she will return a changed individual, probably/hopefully more grown up than the 17 year old you now know. Growing up isn't a bad thing, but she will be different. But then, that would happen whether or not she is long distance military, or long distance living with parents for those two years.

09-17-2007, 12:01 PM	#19 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	I checked your join date before I replied. You should be at least 21 by now. My answer might have been different if you were also 17. Like, go live your life, although that is still good advice. But your questions were more along the lines of 'what should I expect' so that is how I answered. Reading your post, I don't just see her sneaking off. It looks like she told you about it before she signed. She knew you wouldn't like it, but she is a 17 year old who has been dating someone (long distance) for less than a year. I don't think this as a bad thing for her to make decisions about her life, unless she is being pushed into it by someone. I see 'already long distance relationship' + 'plan to marry 2 years after she graduates'... and I see her filling those two years of her life with something constructive and/or meaningful. Striking out on her own, taking care of herself, seeing the world while she can, whatever her reasons are. It is good for a young person to take charge of her life. She has plenty of time to settle down, and so do you. You asked if she will come back after two years. Some people find that they like that way of life, some love it, some hate it. I have known people who: Did not like the military, and got out at the end of their term. Liked the military experience, but were ready to leave and not reenlist. Loved their freedom, adventures, being responsible for themselves, and reenlisted. Loved the experience, but came home because they felt pressured to. Then suddenly reenlisted and flew the coup. Loved the experience, but came home because they felt pressured to, and felt resentful about it for a long time. Decided to be a 'lifer'. (If she decides this, are you prepared to marry her and follow her military career?) Either way, she will return a changed individual, probably/hopefully more grown up than the 17 year old you now know. Growing up isn't a bad thing, but she will be different. But then, that would happen whether or not she is long distance military, or long distance living with parents for those two years. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe