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Originally Posted by ratbastid
Dude. Classic defensive swinger.
Swinging and Poly are different in many, many ways. Right now MY expression of polyamory is that I live with two amazing women who I'm completely in love with, and who love me and each other totally. There's really no talk of relationships (at whatever level of seriousness) outside our triad at the moment. No swinger in the world would call that with swinging. And there are plenty of things I hear from swingers that they do or have done no polyamorist in the world would call polyamory.
Nobody's attacking any lifestyle here (well, that may not quite be accurate... let me say: I'm not attacking any lifestyle here). Swinging's fine for swingers. I'm not one, but for those who do that, it's fine. And like most aspects of sexuality and lifestyle, it's ALL grey area and points-on-a-spectrum. I know couples who have friendly sex with one good friend, and they don't consider themselves swingers OR poly.
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Dude. Classic defensive Polyamory statement.
I totally agree with it's all grey area, it truely its. Basically anyone who can not reconcile what they are doing physically in their own mind they result calling themselves polyamorist.
Now from your description of your relationship above it sounds, ( don't take this wrong or anything, I'm not against this at all ),
like Polygamy not Polyamory. However, if the three of you are in bed at the same time then your lucky and have the swinging relationship that most swingers (Polyamory) are looking for.
"No swinger in the world would call that with swinging. And there are plenty of things I hear from swingers that they do or have done no polyamorist in the world would call polyamory."
I disagree, agian look at 90% of the profiles / posts of the people out there looking are looking for bifemales. If more than two people are in bed having sex then it is, like it or not, swinging.
Now maybe you are looking down on swingers with your high brow because you have found the swingers lifestyle you've been looking for and are done with all the "lifestyle dating". This is kind of the way some married couples look down on long time singles, male and female.
Not all couples look down on singles but a lot sure do and it's not a high and might way of looking down it's more subtle.