maleficent

Years ago, I was an Network admin at a brokerage firm on wall street and got paid an obscene amount of money... this was before the days of blackberries/cheap cell phones etc - I had a pager that went off frequently... I worked 20 hours a day 7 days a week - -networks weren't running - brokers would hemmorage cash and that was never a good thing for anyone... I worked sick - there were days where I would take a car service home, have themw ait while I took a shower and got dressed and went back to work (this was the days when suits and heels were expected out of everyone, even IT) It was a tough gig and I loved the energy, loved the money though I think most of it went to rent because god knows I don't have it now.

I left that job for reasons I don't remember and make considerably less but still am on call 24 hours a day - and get called at all hours... I've had plans cancelled because of a work crisis and vacations rescheduled because of projects... theoretically it's just a computer it's important to those using it and the equipment is more important than the person running it.

This is gonna sound pathetic but it's a realization i've had over the past few years - i have my career - that's about it... I'm not fond of my family and they don't like me all that much - my career is who and what I am... so I don't mind giving it all i can... I don't get back what I give sometimes - though i get a paycheck so that's something... but I've given lots elsewhere and dont' get back there either... I like what I do for a living so i'm ok with that...

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