Racnad

The pickup artist/dating guru phenomenon has both a positive and a negative side.

Typically these programs start with the positive: social skills for men who lack them. How to talk to women with confidence. Wear clean clothes and brush your teeth. Don't stare at her boobs while talking to her.

But then the negatve: phony manipulative tricks, and a confrontational mentality: her vagina becomes the goal/end zone, and her defences are the opposing team. You must outwit and outplay the opposing team to reach the goal.

Why should hooking up be appoached like a compatitive game where winning means defeating the opposition? Because women readily hook up with some men, but avoid others. To the men who have trouble establishing romantic/sexual relationships, trying to date women and take it beyond "just friends" feels like trying to run a football to the end zone with eleven opposing players in your way. They are told "just be yourself," but for them, "yourself" is not what most women are looking for.

When emotionally mature men and emotionally mature women meet, all that crap isn't necessary. But many women are emotionally immature, so men who do not fit the profile of what appeals to them (good looking, rich, etc), have to resort to manipulative tricks, or wait months or years until they happen to meet my chance a woman who responds to them the way they are.