Crack

This is what I like to call "Job Security". This is a totally real, unchanged (except I moved the format around so you can read it from top to bottom) e-mail from a teller at the bank where I am a Net Admin. Not even a blond...

From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 10:03 AM
To: Crack
Subject: hey


i have a computer question...

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 1:45 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


shoot.

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:09 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


OK MY COMPUTER AT HOME IS MESSIN UP... EVERY TIME I TURN IT ON, IT MAKES A SCREECHING SOUND AND SAYS KEYBOARD FAILURE, AND THEN I CANT USE MY KEYBOARD OR MY MOUSE... NOW IS IT MY KEYBOARD OR IS IT A VIRUS, OR WHAT??? I HAVE TRIED UNHOOKING THE KEYBOARD, AND IT DOESNT MAKE THE SOUND WHEN I DO TAHT...

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:13 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


It's most likely your keyboard, go buy a new one for $15 an test it out.


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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:34 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


YOU GOT 15 BUCKS? WAT IF IT ISNT THAT???...

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:36 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


Then you have a new keyboard.

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:51 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


JERK

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:01 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


Any keyboard will work then, if you know it works. Just make sure it has a PS/2 connection.

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:02 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


PS2???

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:03 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


Yep, most are PS2 now, but some have a USB connection, don't get those.


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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:05 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


oooooo ok.

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:10 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


but then you will also see some keyboards with serial connections, those are ok if you want to go that route. On the other hand that might become more problematic as you start to process more and more data, as the serial connections cannot keep up with you. on average, how much data you you process per hour? Is it more than 2 terraflops? If so, you might want to get the USB keyboard with the enhanced 14DS/pt extention. That should work well for what you are doing.

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:19 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


ENGLISH PLEASE. CANT I JUST GO BUY A FRIGGIN KEYBOARD W/ A PC THING??

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:23 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


good luck! Just wait until you get it home and it doesn't fit your computer. I would ask the salesperson at the store where you are going to buy it at if they even have a keyboard with an enhanced 14DS/pt extention first, most do, but some do not. If you are looking for cheaper, you can find a R4D4 Keyboard for not a lot of money, but they also lack the ability to do mulitple MPQ format files, and I mean come on, who doesn't do multiple MPQ format files nowadays...

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:38 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


DONT TRY TO MAKE URSELF SOUND SMART. YOU KNOW THOSE TERMS DONT WORK W/ ME...

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:39 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


you wanted advice!

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:41 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


STUFF I KNOW!

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:42 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


how do I know what you know?

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:47 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


OK IM A NORMAL PERSON. I AM A TELLER... DO I LOOK LIKE I WORK ON COMPUTERS? NOW ESPECIALLY IF I ASKED YOU IF I NEEDED A NEW KEYBOARD WHENEVER IT SAID KEYBOARD FAILURE??? Y WOULD I ASK IF I WAS SMART IN COMPUTERS??

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:48 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


Maybe you were testing me, I am not sure... Ok, so what have we accomplished here? What are you going to look for when you shop for a new keyboard?

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:59 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey


I DONT KNOW. ILL JUST TELL THEM THE KINDA COMP I HAVE N THEN THEY CAN GIVE ME ONE. U CONFUSED ME HALF TO DEATH

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From: Crack
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 4:08 PM
To: poor, poor clueless user
Subject: RE: hey


good luck with that!

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From: poor, poor clueless user
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 4:12 PM
To: Crack
Subject: RE: hey

G THANKS, CANT U JUST COME WIT ME WHEN I BY IT? PLEZE?

__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx