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Cardinal sin of relationships: assuming that current behavior will change from dating into relationships, engagement, and marriage.
Example:
Man and woman are dating. She notices he doesn't pick up after himself. They fall in love and get married. Later, woman constantly harps on man for not picking up after himself. Who the hell did she marry? Did she marry a man who picked up after himself? No. She did not. She also did not marry a man who puts the toilet seat down or is willing to stop seeing his friends because she tells him he can't and has to stay in and help her knit boots for her cat. It's because they assume behavior patterns change once in a relationship. They don't. You bridge the gap between the two of you with compromise, not by changing who people are.
Example 2:
Man and woman are dating. He notices she has lots of male friends. They fall in love and get married. Later, man starts getting pissed off that his wife has a lot of male friends. Who the hell did he marry? Did he marry a woman who had nothing but female friends? No. He did not. He also did not marry a woman who acted like his personal chef, chauffeur, maid, and prostitute, yet he will eventually wonder why she's not cooking, driving, cleaning, and putting out. It's because they assume behavior patterns change once in a relationship. They don't. You bridge the gap between the two of you with compromise, not by changing who people are.
They're stereotypes, yes, but they're extremely popular.
If you don't like a certain quality about someone now, assume they will be like that forever, and don't get with them permanently if you don't like it- or, see how attached they are to those behaviors. For the right person, people are generally willing to bend quite a bit to accommodate the others' wishes... but you can't wait until you're already in a committed relationship before springing those things on them.
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