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Here's how to approach it. First, apologize for going around complaining about this to your wife, other mutual friends (I'm guessing), and hundreds of anonymous strangers on the web. Then tell her honestly how much it's bothering you and tell you how second-class it makes you feel. She'll wake up and at least apologize.
Don't expect immediate and overnight results. People with deeply ingrained organizational habits like this do NOT change them overnight. But if you can leave it in such a way that you can always say when a particular incident bothers you, you'll gradually retrain her.
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