Outside of some bizarre blackmail situation, I can't see how I could be "raped". Mr. Happy isn't going to be happy if he doesn't want to do it and while I have better 'control' than a lot of men (you will have to trust me on this one
) I'd have to use all of that if I was going to be forced.
Likewise if I were drunk, or drugged, again, I as a male wouldn't think of it as rape. It just wouldn't register as "rape". Hell I've had a few instances of beer goggles in my life, I don't feel raped for any of them.
Finally the strap on thing wouldn't be rape to me, but it would be assault. The reason being, is that to me being anally violated is not sexual. Maybe my wacky female attacker would think of it as so, but its not part of my own sexuality.
But this doesn't answer the question can a man be raped by a woman, perhaps some men could, but I don't think I could be.