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I don't believe that having an erection is something that requires mental arousal or a conscious decision. For example: Think back to your high school days. That was over seven years ago for me and I still remember getting a raging boners for no apparent reason that would *not* go away and having to strategically position my pile of books so as to hide it when I had to step into the hallway between classes.
I would say that it is possible for a woman to rape a man via vaginal intercourse, and any other sexual act that was not consented to I would consider to be rape as well.
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I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.
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