Just don't join the Knot! Shani has a message board for weddings, and the one I used (and still enjoy visiting) is at:
http://kvetch.indiebride.com ... check it out, there are a few grooms on there as well.
We came in at under $8000 for a wedding we planned in 5 weeks, including dress/all rings/venue, everything. It came off VERY well (people said it looked like it'd been planned for a year, and cost 3 times as much). All things are possible, you just have to work at it... and you have plenty of time to find cheaper alternatives. Best of luck, man.