The thing I loved about my wedding planning the most was how involved Dave was with everything. Im very big on doing stuff yourself. We planned our wedding for a year and a half. We planned for 150 people and including the honeymoon our costs, with everything we did ourselves, was right under 4800 bucks.
The first thing you need to do is make a list of "must haves" and things you can do without. For example....we saw no need at all for a flower girl or a ring bearer. We also saw no need to have anyone stand up with us other than his best man and my maid of honor. We chose to have a 2 pm wedding with an appetizer reception...we saw no need to have a plated or catered dinner....we made all the food ourselves. All our wedding party/parents clothes were made (granted we had a renn themed wedding but still...) My wedding dress cost me 267 dollars (and was special made just for me) our wedding party gifts...because of dave and I's diligence did not cost all that much (all our guys got 52' claymore swords and the women got claymore daggers) We saw no need in personalized favors....we made tartan bags out of the wedding tartan and filled them with the lavender to be thrown when we left, so that each guest could keep the bag after the wedding.
We held the rehearsal dinner at the church the night of rehearsal and had it catered by Sonny's BBQ....good food, cheap. We made the invitations ourselves (and they looked fantastic if I do say so myself). We saw no need for things like save the date cards. We printed our own programs for the ceremony as well. Our best friend was ordained online (perfectly legal in GA, I call the Secretary of State and double and triple checked) to perform the ceremony (which also made the ceremony that much more meaningful to us). We had friends use/set up their video cameras. We had daves cousin take all the wedding photos so there was no expense at all for "recording the wedding". My maid of honors mother made our cake (which was more gorgeous than words can say).
There are SO many ways you can have what you want without spending as much as buying a new car lol
I recommend that you and/or your fiance check out wedding planning boards online...I run one myself where we all do our best to help people do things without paying thru the nose just because its for a "wedding".
Good luck in everything...just remember you two have made this commitment and its something you should plan TOGETHER. I am not one that thinks all the guy has to do is "show up on the day"
I will post my "rules for getting married" just for laughs lol
Quote:
I wrote this awhile back to remind some of us that we can get on each others nerves....read it with an open mind
Congratulations on your engagement!!! Love is a wonderful thing and its magical when you find the man you are planning on spending the rest of your life with and even more wonderful when he recognizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
you are now about to embark on a journey that many of us NEVER WANT TO GO THRU AGAIN.
yes, its called wedding planning, that bitter sweet experience that turns ordinary women into pill popping psychotic maniacs from whence the term Bridezilla comes. I dont think there is a word for the women that were already that way before the engagement.
Millions of us have been thru this and Im happy to say that after the wedding day the symptoms go away once the day is passed, for most of us anyway.
Here are a few things that might help you along the way to not drive away your friends and family
1. You are old enough to be getting married, hence you are old enough to pay for the wedding yourself if need be. We are in the 21st century, the days of EXPECTING your parents to pay for everything are over. Yes, some parents do this and those brides are the envy of everyone, but in reality many more of us have to cover these expenses ourselves with some, little, or no help at all, so plan according to your budget.
2. ALWAYS have a back up plan when someone says they are going to pay for something "as a wedding gift" or be prepared to do without when, at the last minute this person tells you they forgot or just dont have the money they thought they would.
3. Going into debt to have a 30k or more wedding is NOT a good thing, hence its not a good thing when your parents do it either.
4. Yes its your day, this does not however give you the right to become a dictator worse than Napolean. It is a GOOD thing to take other peoples lives into consideration when going about wedding planning. Please know that at any time a member of your wedding party could become preggie, could go thru some crisis where they decide they need blue hair (or some other color or haircut), they could have some life changing event which will prevent them from buying that dress/tux they said they would pay for (again....backup plans are good). Temper tantrums using the mantra "But its my day and you all need to do when I want how I want" do not show the maturity of someone that is ready to take on a husband.
5. This one is just an observation...please notice that having an engagement ring on your finger seems to directly influence the part of your brain that determines fashion sense. Butt bows are not and never have been attractive. Asking a big boobed girl to wear a strapless dress is not only horrible but its asking for an accident to happen. The "girls" need the security of STRAPS on a dress.
6. Bridal parties do NOT need to be even so please dont ask someone you dont really WANT to be in your wedding to be in it just to even the sides out.
7. You are going to fight with your mother and your FMIL, get used to it. These two women will have different tastes or ideas (this is one of the times its ok to tell them its your day, but in a mature way, not in a 2 year old way).
8. Your FMIL is going to be a bitch at some point, expect it very few of us get to experience the kind of MIL that I had. You are taking her son away, she KNOWS what evil things you'll be doing to him on your honeymoon.....Just smile and nod a lot and let her vent. Remember...one day YOU will be the FMIL.
9. You WILL spend hours addressing invitations and enclosing RSVP cards with multiple ways to respond which WILL be ignored, be ready for it. People are going to assume you know they are coming. You WILL get RSVPs from people who wont, without any explanation, show up.
10. Your maid of honor/bridesmaids WILL tick you off, probably about several things. They will be late/miss appointments and complain about many things.
11. It wont matter how many times you tell people or how many email newsletters you send out...people will still not know all the information you want them to know.
12. The rehearsal dinner is usually for your out of town guests and wedding participants and spouses, there is no need to invite everyone you know to it.
13. Your husband to be in most cases will not be as excited about the wedding as you (there ARE exceptions to this one) and wont give a darn which of the 12 shades of pink you decide to use (unless you try to make them and the groomsman wear it)
14. You WILL end up ticking off people with constant wedding talk so please dont be surprised when they look like they want to throw you in a burlap sack with rocks in it and throw you in the lake when you try to talk to them about it 12 months in advance.
15. It IS possible to DIY stuff yourself and have just as great a wedding rather than paying someone with "expertise". Their "expertise" comes at a 300% mark up.
16. (this is my personal pet peeve) You are not having a wedding to make money....it doesnt matter one bit if the people that come give a wedding gift big enough to cover their cost of dinner at the reception. Their presence at your special day should be gift enough, ANYTHING else is icing on the cake.
I hope these help someone, more likely than not it will make people mad, but hey, the more you know in advance the less we have to say "I told you so"
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