Midnight

Sorry, I have to chime in here... I'm a hyphenated woman.

*evil grin*

I had every intention of keeping my maiden name when I married.
My husband became so completely infuriated by this, that I created a legal nightmare for myself, leaving my social security card in my maiden name, but changing my drivers lisc to my married name (when he quite literally DRAGGED me into the DMV and started to create a very loud disturbance about it, in public. it was easier to change my name to his last name on my lisc than to deal with the impending bellowing. )
and having legal papers in both names, I proceeded to go by Ms. *first name* *my maiden name* - *his last name* for anything requiring my signature.

to introduce my husband (EX) and myself, it would be correct to say (using the above example names) "Ah Bob! Have you met my friends John Smith and his wife Jane James-Smith?"

a wedding invitation (and your newsletter) would correctly refer to us as:

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane James-Smith

Hope that helps!