I think there is a difference between complaining and venting. At least, I hope so... I try very hard to appreciate small things that are good. Like the bus. In fact, my whole theory on how to deal with my negativity can be related to catching the bus.
There is a bus that goes down the main blvd, and if it is there, I take it. If it is not there, I walk the 10 blocks to the subway. If it's raining and crappy, I can be grumpy that the bus isn't there, and may even bitch to Q that "dammit, I had to walk all that way in the rain and now I'm soaked!". But it doesn't change anything. I just feel better with the minute of sympathy I got from him... and I still took care of things and walked.
But when the bus IS there, I make a mental note - thank goodness! It's here! It's 97 degrees out, and what a nice thing that the bus was here! Maybe I'll even have time to get coffee...
I feel that this way, I am keeping karma on my side.
When the subway is there, I am happy and think of what an easy commute I had. It affects my whole day. When it is delayed and crowded, and people suck, I try very hard to ignore it all and just read my book. I try not to stew on how crappy the commute is that day, instead I focus elsewhere.
In fact, that sort of "compartmentalization" is really how I survive a remarkably busy life. Deal with it when you can and if you can't, put it aside until later.
Venting is nice for me ....sometimes, you just have to say "jesus christ on a pogo stick, THIS SUCKS!!!". You're not expecting any solutions or anything, just that the other person will say "Yeah, it does. You're not crazy. Your perceptions are solid."
As for just looking at things negatively, well, I only really do that to myself. Rather than see the pretty face my friend commented on, I see the zits and the bags and the messy hair. THAT'S where my true negativity comes in. And since I am lazy and I can't really think of when I'll be able to schedule time to work on it anyway... I will be in this state for a while. This unhappy with self state, this inability to see good things in the mirror state. If you know of a good way to kick this forever, let me know. But the only weapon I have is the one I told lurkette one day - sometimes, you have to compare yourself favorably. No, I'm not happy with my shape. But look at that person, they've got 80lbs on you, it could be a lot worse. It's not nice. But I only think it. And just to give myself perspective on the fact that it's not really that bad, no matter how much I might feel like it is.
Wow, that was a lot longer than I meant it to be.