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Originally Posted by shesus
That's just another twist on the how much time do you devote to the relationship. We spend almost every moment in the same place, but we aren't together every moment. Like right now, we're in the same room, but I'm surfing the net and chatting with friends while he's playing video games.
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Yeah, my SO and I are the same--we're together, but not together, like you and JJ. I think it's the risk couples run when they live together. However, we recognize that time and also try to put in time every day that is time where we are together and interacting. We get coffee together in the mornings. We meet for lunch once a week or so. We go out on a date on Friday nights. We play frisbee together on a frisbee team on Wednesdays. We go to Saturday Market together.
I couldn't count how much time we put into our relationship in a week...it just happens. Yesterday we didn't have much direct interaction, because we were cleaning the house and then he decided to raid in World of Warcraft. And that's fine, because sometimes I do need some "Me Time".
And yes, if your partner is your best friend, this sort of thing occurs naturally, because you WANT to spend time with them. The time spent on our relationship is part conscious effort, part not--for instance, the date thing is a conscious effort, but other time we spend together is not. Either way--communication about how much time you spend together, and how that time is spent, is key.