Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How much time do you devote to your relationship in a week?

shesus · 08-22-2007, 10:30 AM

Abaya, I think that's why it's important to not only marry the person you love, but also your best friend. That is the best combination imo. JJ and I have been married for over 6 years. It hasn't always been easy and we've been in some tough places. However, we don't see spending time together as separate from doing things that we want or like to do. As Abaya and others have mentioned. We enjoy movies so we watch them together and then use cheesy quotes from them. We enjoy video games so we play those together. We enjoy hiking and road trips so we spend time together then. It's not a separate part of our life, it is our life.

We actually spend a lot more time together than most because of one vehicle, working at the same place, and of course living together. What we found though, and I think this happens as time goes on in some relationships, is that we were together, but not together. We weren't communicating feelings and devoting time to keep the relationship going the way it should be. In short, we were taking each other for granted. So, while we were sitting in the same room, car, or place, we weren't really connecting. This was causing major problems and I'm glad that we realized the problems and found ways to fix them.

That's just another twist on the how much time do you devote to the relationship. We spend almost every moment in the same place, but we aren't together every moment. Like right now, we're in the same room, but I'm surfing the net and chatting with friends while he's playing video games.

For the OP. Spending quality time with a person you love should come naturally and generally it does. However, there are times when you have to put in a little more effort and time to really make it work if that's what you want. I don't think it should be a calculated thing with charts and graphs. Just find things you both enjoy and do them together. It doesn't take a lot of time, just sometimes creativity.

08-22-2007, 10:30 AM	#11 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	Abaya, I think that's why it's important to not only marry the person you love, but also your best friend. That is the best combination imo. JJ and I have been married for over 6 years. It hasn't always been easy and we've been in some tough places. However, we don't see spending time together as separate from doing things that we want or like to do. As Abaya and others have mentioned. We enjoy movies so we watch them together and then use cheesy quotes from them. We enjoy video games so we play those together. We enjoy hiking and road trips so we spend time together then. It's not a separate part of our life, it is our life. We actually spend a lot more time together than most because of one vehicle, working at the same place, and of course living together. What we found though, and I think this happens as time goes on in some relationships, is that we were together, but not together. We weren't communicating feelings and devoting time to keep the relationship going the way it should be. In short, we were taking each other for granted. So, while we were sitting in the same room, car, or place, we weren't really connecting. This was causing major problems and I'm glad that we realized the problems and found ways to fix them. That's just another twist on the how much time do you devote to the relationship. We spend almost every moment in the same place, but we aren't together every moment. Like right now, we're in the same room, but I'm surfing the net and chatting with friends while he's playing video games. For the OP. Spending quality time with a person you love should come naturally and generally it does. However, there are times when you have to put in a little more effort and time to really make it work if that's what you want. I don't think it should be a calculated thing with charts and graphs. Just find things you both enjoy and do them together. It doesn't take a lot of time, just sometimes creativity. __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company