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Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by abaya
Man, I don't think it's time management you have an issue with... it's how you think about relationships (sorry if that sounds harsh, just being honest).  "should... try... to find stuff to do?" To me, those 3 concepts aren't really part of a vocabulary of a serious, committed relationship (married or not), as most of us have already said. There aren't many "shoulds," or "trying" to find time or things to do... it just happens. In the right kind of relationship, that other person naturally becomes your #1 priority, and nurturing what you have with them becomes second nature. You don't think about "trying to get 10 hours a week" or something... it just happens.
Or if it doesn't, you notice... and it doesn't feel right. It feels like something big is missing from your life, like not eating well or keeping yourself hydrated or sleeping well. I mean, you don't "find time" to eat, drink, or sleep (heh, well, maybe you do, from the sounds of your schedule)... you just do it, without thinking or calculating. In a healthy relationship, spending time with each other happens because it's just essential to one's happiness, at least in my opinion.
Heck, even while running errands, ktspktsp and I talk about our days, hold hands in the car (between shifting gears), kiss and lean on each other sometimes, laugh and crack jokes at the grocery store... I dunno, it's just the way we are. Maybe we're just your typical cheesy newlyweds  but I hope it's like this for the rest of our lives! |
no 5 years later Skogafoss and I do these things as well. We much prefer to do these simple things together because it is hidden time we can get to spend together that is otherwise spent alone. Since we work in the same place, I sometimes commute home alone and my commute it noticibly different. Instead of just sitting there I find I'm trying to engage myself in some manner, ipod, reading books/news/magazine, chatting on the cellphone with a friend. On the way I stop at the grocery and pick up something for dinner, instead of turning around and saying "Do you think this is good?" I have to call, which invariably is not really a conversation more than,"I'm at the grocery what do you want me to get for dinner?" or "What else do we need besides milk?"
some may label it as codependent but I see it as wanting to spend time with her over doing something by myself.
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