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Originally Posted by ASU2003
I understand that when you are in a relationship that you should try to find stuff to do together, and it might be hard to add up.
But, I am thinking about my life and how I would have to make dating/relationship the number 1 or 2 priority thing and try to do normal stuff with her, just to get a max of 10 hours a week. It might not even be that if we didn't live together. I barely have an hour a week to talk to my parents as it is, where would I find the time to talk to her everyday for instance? I don't know, but I think I need to work on time management issues for sure.
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Man, I don't think it's time management you have an issue with... it's how you think about relationships (sorry if that sounds harsh, just being honest).
"should... try... to find stuff to do?" To me, those 3 concepts aren't really part of a vocabulary of a serious, committed relationship (married or not), as most of us have already said. There aren't many "shoulds," or "trying" to find time or things to do... it just happens. In the right kind of relationship, that other person naturally becomes your #1 priority, and nurturing what you have with them becomes second nature. You don't think about "trying to get 10 hours a week" or something... it just happens.
Or if it doesn't, you notice... and it doesn't feel right. It feels like something big is missing from your life, like not eating well or keeping yourself hydrated or sleeping well. I mean, you don't "find time" to eat, drink, or sleep (heh, well, maybe you do, from the sounds of your schedule)... you just do it, without thinking or calculating. In a healthy relationship, spending time with each other happens because it's just essential to one's happiness, at least in my opinion.
Heck, even while running errands, ktspktsp and I talk about our days, hold hands in the car (between shifting gears), kiss and lean on each other sometimes, laugh and crack jokes at the grocery store... I dunno, it's just the way we are. Maybe we're just your typical cheesy newlyweds
but I hope it's like this for the rest of our lives!