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How can I keep living like this?
I take about 20 pills a day for chronic pain, hyperthyroidism, Crohn's disease and depression. I don't know if I'm even depressed. I don't think I am. But anyway, that's not what this topic is about. One of the meds I take is tramadol, which is a non-narcotic painkiller that has SNRI properties. It is TERRIBLE to miss a dose of it, worse than missing a dose of an antidepressant because I think tramadol has a shorter half-life. Anyway, I set up an appointment to see my primary care physician (PCP) on Tuesday. Turns out she has to cancel it for an emergency so I ended up seeing her on Friday. I called in a couple times that week to ask for my tramadol to be called in to my pharmacy. She never does. By the time I go in on Friday, I'm already going through withdrawal even with a rapid taper. The nurse tells me she told the doctor but didn't give any specifics as to why the doctor didn't call it in, except that I was already going to see her on Friday. This is NOT ok. Withdrawal makes me massively depressed, nauseous, causes me to vomit and shake, I can't sleep, my heart races. One of the worst feelings in the world. She finally did prescribe the tramadol for me -- no problem and no questions asked. But why did I have to go through all of that?
I hate knowing that I will have to depend on these doctors for the rest of my life. Other patients have gone through worse, especially with pain management practitioners. Some will force you to see them every month to get a refill, others don't call in scripts or their office is lazy on referrals and faxing records, etc. This is all fairly minor to some of the other things I've gone through, but knowing how ill I can get just because a doctor is too lazy to call something in or refuses to really worries me. The best I can do is conserve medication but sometimes even that is tricky. It's common belief among doctors that if a patient takes less of their painkillers than prescribed, then they are a drug addict. Their logic is that a patient will conserve the med in order to sustain a high when they want it, because taking it continually keeps you from getting high. Man, it's nuts. It really is. So many patients suffer because of a few bastards, but I don't blame them for all of this. I blame the DEA for frightening physicians who hand out opioids for legitimate reasons, and the physicians in turn for cowering in a corner and treating all their patients like potential criminals. While it is logical to be cautious, as a doctor you need to put the patient's needs above your own. Otherwise, you never should have gone in the field.
Sorry for the long rant. It was on my mind.
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