Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Hyacinthe · 08-01-2007, 04:13 AM

I've done the friends with benefits things alot over the past few years - never had a problem with it.

The reason most people have problems with it is because emotions can become involved - if either of you starts feeling a romantic attachment to the other end it immediately. You have to be completely honest with eachother about this to or you / your friend will end up feeling led on and hurt because of the physical intimacy not corresponding with the emotional intimacy.

As for bedroom etiquette well that depends on you and the other person. For me nothing was really out of bounds that wouldn't have also been out of bounds if I had been in a romantic relationship with the guy in question. I was however aware of the fact that I was likely not the only girl he was sleeping with during this period of time and so I went to a certain amount of effort not to leave any marks until reassured it was ok. Most of this part is about communication - check before you leave a love bite just incase, same for scratching, biting etc etc. I had a friend go to pick up the other month and got turned down numerous times because he had a large love bite on his neck - he was not impressed since it had been from a one night stand and yet with the marking every girl he tried to pick up assumed he was cheating.

I guess for me it's kindof like what Frosstbyte described, a series of one night stands with someone I feel a certain degree of affection for even if I would never want a serious relationship with him. If you start feeling more then that stop sleeping with the other person immediately.

The one rule that you maybe should have is either of you can end things, no begging, no questions asked, no excuses just a "yeah I don't think we should do this anymore" and that's it it's over.

08-01-2007, 04:13 AM	#8 (permalink)
Hyacinthe Psycho Location: Australia	I've done the friends with benefits things alot over the past few years - never had a problem with it. The reason most people have problems with it is because emotions can become involved - if either of you starts feeling a romantic attachment to the other end it immediately. You have to be completely honest with eachother about this to or you / your friend will end up feeling led on and hurt because of the physical intimacy not corresponding with the emotional intimacy. As for bedroom etiquette well that depends on you and the other person. For me nothing was really out of bounds that wouldn't have also been out of bounds if I had been in a romantic relationship with the guy in question. I was however aware of the fact that I was likely not the only girl he was sleeping with during this period of time and so I went to a certain amount of effort not to leave any marks until reassured it was ok. Most of this part is about communication - check before you leave a love bite just incase, same for scratching, biting etc etc. I had a friend go to pick up the other month and got turned down numerous times because he had a large love bite on his neck - he was not impressed since it had been from a one night stand and yet with the marking every girl he tried to pick up assumed he was cheating. I guess for me it's kindof like what Frosstbyte described, a series of one night stands with someone I feel a certain degree of affection for even if I would never want a serious relationship with him. If you start feeling more then that stop sleeping with the other person immediately. The one rule that you maybe should have is either of you can end things, no begging, no questions asked, no excuses just a "yeah I don't think we should do this anymore" and that's it it's over. __________________ "I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."