Quote:
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Originally Posted by Sultana
I'm a woman. The action posted in the OP would piss me off. If you don't like it, become a homosexual.  |
Or find a woman who isn't pissed off by it
It's been well-established in this thread that, generally speaking, men think one thing about this while women think another (there are, of course, exceptions). It is very unfair to claim that one or the other is more
right, and attempting to do so is the kind of thing that is bound to lead to unhappiness. Relationships don't work by asserting one's own view on the other person, they work by communicating and learning to understand where the other person is coming from. That means that, yes, the boyfriend should have thought more about the possible effects of his actions, but it also means that she needs to at least
try and understand his viewpoint about all this. Neither side has the right to deny how the other feels. They can only acknowledge it, learn to understand it as best they can, and deal with it. The boyfriend needs to acknowledge that she is upset by this (which, it seems, he has) and do what he can to address that.
But, she also needs to acknowledge that his mind deals with fantasy differently than hers and that masturbating to pictures of her friends was not a referendum on her. It was simply a fantasy, because - as others have said - guy's fantasize about having sex with pretty much everyone. It is only by working to meet
in the middle - focusing on how each other feels, and not focusing on creating judgments about what is right and wrong and what each other
should feel - that a relationship is going to have any success.