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Unless a person is tossing off to an unhealthy fetish then there is no reason to be concerned. Fantasy is a wonderful part of a healthy sexual life and if you don't fantasize about other people then fuck .. I feel sorry for whoever you're in the sack with.
The point again here is that the OP was already having insecurity issues well before any of this happened. This just happened to trigger the effect to an advanced degree. So basically, here's the resolution.. talk to your SO about what you like and don't like and it's ok for him and you to say "she's hot" or "he's hot" because they are after all.. in bed with you. It's pretty difficult to be creative unless you live in the fantasy world occasionally.
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