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While I can say, that as a guy, yes, yes we do fantasize about our girlfriends friends from time to time. But hell, we fantasize about the girl on the train, or the girl behind the counter that we get our milk from, or our friends girlfriends. But it doesn't mean we're ever going to act on it.
However, I think the guy fucked up when he went to the effort of downloading picks. Not only that, didn't bother to keep it discrete. I'm sorry guys, but that extra step is an element of creepy and it brings this fantasy a lot closer to home.
It doesn't mean he was ever going to act on these fantasies, but those fantasies should have stayed contained in his head.
I will agree with the people saying that the OP does need to work on her own insecurity issues. Yes, they guy fucked up, but I don't think this incident should bring you down this far or make you feel this bad. I can certainly understand why this has hurt you. But still, at the end of the day, it was just a simple fantasy, and he made a mistake. I don't think that makes him a monster, I mean really, did he actually cheat on you at any point?
And for the people on the "Kick him in the balls" camp, are you seriously telling me that you've never fantasised about your SO's friends or even some of your friends SO's? It's all very easy to say kick him to the curb when he's not your boyfriend. I think if you really put yourselves in the OP's shoes and realised that you actually love the guy, you'd also realise that he could have done far worse, and in the grand scheme of things, this little transgression wasn't that evil.
Like I said, he fucked up, and I can understand why the OP feels the way she does. But I also feel that they can pull through this just fine.
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You are not a slave
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