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When it comes to responding to your sexual drives, there's a difference between using mainstream pornography and using photographs of your SO's friends. Where do you draw the line? Photos of siblings? Parents? Pets?
Her boyfriend using the photos for that purpose means that he has acted on a sexual impulse that was focused on her friends. This isn't exactly healthy as far as a loving relationship is concerned. There is no denying our sexual nature, but we aren't like other animals. We have complex minds and emotions and certain experiences can have devistating effects, both physical and emotional. To say what he did wasn't so bad is insensitive because it had negative effects on her well-being. Sure she needs to take responsibility for her own happiness and self-worth, but at the same time, what he did was wrong because of the very fact that it was hurtful.
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
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