Oh, you poor thing. *hug* You really are trapped right now, aren't you? It's easy for those of us who aren't in your situation to sit back and say "you've got to do something for yourself", but it's a lot harder when you're the person in question. I, too, grew up with really strict parents who tried to shelter me from everything, but by the time I had been in college for a couple of years, I guess they decided to let me sink or swim with what they'd taught me, and I swam. It sounds like your parents are still unwilling to let go of you as their child, and allow you to be an adult.
Do you mind if I ask what ethnicity/religion you are? Not because I'm going to typecast you, but because it might help us/me understand your situation a little better. I've made somewhat of a study of comparative cultures and if nothing else, I learned that the answer to one question can change dramatically depending on who you ask.
That said, let's analyze this thread, shall we?
You are socially crippled, as you do not have the people skills to easily make friends/maintain relationships. This is due to the fact that you were so sheltered as a child, you were not allowed to learn these skills.
You can't drive, cook, or balance a checkbook. So you're incapable of caring for yourself as an adult. This is due to the fact that you were so sheltered as a child and young adult, you were not allowed to learn these skills.
You are unable to improve your own situation, because you are so sheltered as an adult, you aren't allowed to take any of the steps necessary to do so.
I think there's a common theme... you're depressed, essentially, because you're not allowed to become UNdepressed. The problem, I believe, is your parents. You might be one of those rare souls who actually CAN blame almost everything wrong with them on their upbringing.
However, now is not the time to give up, now is the time that you actually CAN make a difference! For the first time in your whole life, you have the power to make your own decisions. Here are some thoughts for you:
Quote:
|
Sorry to whine here again, but I just feel so trapped. I've been back home with my parents for two months because I have nowhere else to go. They've refused to let me look for a job until I learn how to drive because there's no way for me to get to the job. However, they've also refused to teach me how to drive because they're convinced I'll crash, and they refused to let me go to a driving school because my mother thinks the driving instructor will kidnap me. On top of that, every few days my mother starts yelling at me that I'm useless because I don't have a job and she wants me out of the house. I'm not suicidal, but ever since I stupidly told them that I visited the school psychiatrist, she actually tells me to commit suicide every so often. My life has no purpose right now, and I usually sleep more than I need to because I don't want to get up, but that just makes her yell at me more. I don't know what to do. I want to get away so badly but I don't know how. I did try to apply for some jobs anyway, but I haven't heard back yet. I had my resume on Monster.com, but my dad went ballistic when he found out and made me take it down.
|
As a human being:
1. You are allowed to look for a job. If you don't want your resume on the internet, you can still browse job listings on monster, craigslist, etc, and send your resume to individual jobs that you are interested in, rather than just leaving your resume up there to hope someone will find it. That's not really a good way to find a job anyway.
If you parents try to stop you from looking for a job, tell them to fuck off. You're an adult, and you're allowed to make yourself self-sufficient.
2. You are allowed to remain alive and healthy. Mental health is important. You are allowed to find your own therapist and visit him or her, and take any medication that you and your therapist deem appropriate for your situation. The time when you parents had a say in what you do to yourself medically ended, if not the day you stopped visiting a pediatrician, then at least the day you graduated from college and became an adult.
Your mother is NOT allowed to tell you to commit suicide. Even if she is joking, you should, calmly and rationally, tell her next time she says it, to fuck off.
3. You are allowed to learn the skills necessary to become a functioning adult. You are allowed to go to a driving school. Your driving instructor will NOT kidnap you, assuming that you choose a reputable driving school with some modicum of credibility and a brick-and-mortar address. You might crash your car a few times (most people do), and heck, you might even die in said crash. But you're allowed, as a human, to find out if driving is something you might be able to do.
You are allowed to learn how to cook. Watch the Food network, check out a book at the library, learn everything you can about the conceptual aspects of cooking before you ever even try to do it yourself. You'll find that it's not as hard as you think. Learning how to prepare food in order to keep yourself alive is not something your parents are allowed to keep from you.
My suggestion: Take your mom's advice and leave the house. I honestly can't see things getting WORSE for you if you do that. Your parents are the ones dragging you down (and the ones who may need the medication). Once you escape them, once you're out on your own and are forced to learn to do what must be done in order to survive, you will be on the road to a much happier existence.