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Corporate Dictionary
Understanding corporate words...
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you have big t#ts, the jobs yours.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain that way by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
Buy your own uniform.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Seven days a week.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
If it's a sh#t job, guess who will have to do it?!
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED"
You must be able to crawl to the boss.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job internally; the advert is a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You will need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
It's a mess here.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You will be doing the boss's job but not for the same sallery.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Do what you're told.
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"I Finally Finished My Goal....You Can Too!
Yippie Ki Ya...
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